Well that's a new one!

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 11/02/2016 at 16:47 • Filed to: People suck!

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A customer’s dog actually bit me.

So I’m at a house, hi hi, how are you nice meet you, nice guy. We start walking upstairs and suddenly a dog starts barking, which is my expectation of pretty much all dogs, as some weirdo has entered the home. Immediately the owner exclaims, “Oh nooo!” Uh oh. He looks around frantically and then I feel a tug around my ankle. This hideous poodle mix has chomped down on my pants and is tugging all he can. Thankfully I wear thick baggy work jeans, else that fucker would have hit my flesh down there.

Judging by the owner’s reaction, no way this is the first time. “Oh he has a small dog complex!” Really? I’ve met countless little dogs that did in fact NOT charge at me and bite me. And this particular dog was not small. He was trying really hard to feel out if I was going to do/say anything more about his awful pooch. I went about my business.

He eventually tethered the dog, who snarled and growled and pulled every time I walked by. When the owner was out of sight of said dog, it would howl bloody murder.

That was mere inches from going completely the other direction. A bloody ankle, an L&I claim, a call to the police, a dog getting put down...

What a total piece of shit owner. That dog is coddled like a child and poor behavior is obviously never addressed or corrected.

Luckily I’ll never be back. Happy that my poorly behaved doggo just licks strangers’ fingertips!

Wacko > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 16:50

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it’s because of dogs and owners like that that I am a cat person.

HammerheadFistpunch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 16:51

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poodles and their mixes are assholes.

Textured Soy Protein > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 16:52

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Today I stopped at a gas station on the way back to work from lunch and there was a sweet looking golden retreiver chilling in a Chevy Tracker with the passenger window rolled down. On the inside I was all like “ooohhh look at the doggie such a nice doggie I want to say hi to the doggie” but on the outside I (mostly?) kept my composure.

PotbellyJoe and 42 others > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 16:52

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These types of owners also make terrible parents. I routinely dealt with a boy-man in high school who was a product of this type of household. He was bigger than me and always got his way in life. We did not get along. He has a crooked nose to prove it.

Party-vi > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 16:53

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My dog is very curious around new people, and will get up in their business and then run away the moment they try to pet her, as she is wont to do.

KirkyV > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 16:53

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Poor doggo. Shit owner.

bob and john > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 16:54

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I know i’m a bag of dick for saying this, but a good drop kick next time he does that would solve the issue.

Probenja > HammerheadFistpunch 11/02/2016 at 16:58

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Truth we had a poodle mix and it was an asshole, bit me many times in my childhood too.

S65 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 16:58

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I’m sorry

RallyWrench > HammerheadFistpunch 11/02/2016 at 17:00

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I want to throw chocolate to my neighbor’s Pomeranian. It’s not a dog, it’s a large, loud, stupid rat.

Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 17:01

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Baggy jeans save ankles.

RallyWrench > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 17:04

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F that, man. I’d report it just to make his life difficult. Asshole dogs and their entitled shithead owners deserve all the crap we can give them.

Chasaboo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 17:05

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Shocking, an animal with pointy teeth tried to bite you.

Hardly a headline.

bingham123 > RallyWrench 11/02/2016 at 17:06

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throw laxative chocolate over the fence when the owners aint looking

ttyymmnn > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 17:15

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Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Chasaboo 11/02/2016 at 17:15

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New headline: you’re a fucking moron.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > RallyWrench 11/02/2016 at 17:16

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If it’s less than 50 lbs, it’s a cat.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Party-vi 11/02/2016 at 17:16

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Is she a Boxer?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Chasaboo 11/02/2016 at 17:18

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I’m around dogs all the time, and I’ve only been bitten once, and it was by a dog I knew. And that was only because it pulled a cat move when I was walking and walked under my foot and I stepped on it.

Party-vi > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 11/02/2016 at 17:23

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She is an Husky.

crowmolly > Party-vi 11/02/2016 at 17:30

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Did you name her Kobalt? I would have.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > RallyWrench 11/02/2016 at 17:30

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Yeah, those things are about the shittiest dogs ever.

Our Shih Tzu is super well behaved. The only thing she does is attempts to get pet by and lick every human she encounters. The trick-or-treaters had fun petting her.

Bourbon&JellyBeans > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 17:31

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Small dog complex? Is that supposed to be like the canine equivalent of the Napoleon complex? Yeah...I don’t think that dogs have the mental capacity to feel self-conscious about their size. Sounds like a bullshit excuse for not training a poorly behaved dog.

Bourbon&JellyBeans > Chasaboo 11/02/2016 at 17:32

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You having a bad day or what?

Party-vi > crowmolly 11/02/2016 at 17:33

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boo and hiss.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Party-vi 11/02/2016 at 17:37

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Ah. Our Boxer/Pit mix does the same, and I’ve been around boxer’s who do that.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 17:41

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Who the fuck is this guy?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 11/02/2016 at 17:43

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and cats are pointless.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 17:43

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Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Chasaboo 11/02/2016 at 17:44

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Dafuq dude?

shop-teacher > PotbellyJoe and 42 others 11/02/2016 at 17:50

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Sounds like my dorm roommate. What a giant asshole.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 17:59

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Did you bite it back?

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 18:09

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Yup... dogs are like children that never grow up. And they only behave badly if the owners let them.

I had a dog in my household in the past. And as long as you consistently reward good behaviour and punish bad behavior, you will usually have a well behaved dog.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/02/2016 at 18:16

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Those are fighting words mister!

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 18:24

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You didn’t assert your domination. You should have bit the fucker back.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/02/2016 at 18:26

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What ev’s

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/02/2016 at 18:30

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Oh lawd

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet 11/02/2016 at 19:11

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No

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 19:13

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I am disappoint. How else will strange know you are there to do no harm?

jkm7680 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 19:24

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I hate small dogs and breeds like poodles. So fucking annoying....

I’d much rather have a husky or something.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > jkm7680 11/02/2016 at 19:29

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My neighbor has show poodles that are incredibly well-trained and friendly. I’m finding that is not always the case. Also his poodles look great, because show poodles. The mix that wanted to taste my supple flesh was like a large rat with poofs of hair.

Alfalfa > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 19:32

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Don’t get me wrong, some dogs just have more aggressive personalities, but the whole “small dog complex” thing is just an excuse people use for not training aggression out of their dog. They think it’s cute, or funny, or just the way it is and they can’t do anything about it. And while most of the time it’s just obnoxious, it quickly becomes a bigger problem when they attack a bigger dog and that dog kicks their ass. Because then it’s always the larger dog’s fault, and for some reason you’re the one who can’t control your “aggressive” dog who was just defending itself.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Alfalfa 11/02/2016 at 19:40

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The best is when people pick up their dogs during a mildly, if barely, contentious situation. YOU ARE MAKING IT WORSE FOR YOUR DOG. Do not coddle your dog!

ranwhenparked > Alfalfa 11/02/2016 at 19:55

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People are more willing to tolerate bad behavior from smaller dogs, which gives rise to the stereotype that small dogs are more hyper/less docile than big ones. No, the owners just don’t care. Because a Boston terrier jumping on a stranger won’t knock them over the way a labrador might, so they just figure its cute when the Boston does it.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Wacko 11/02/2016 at 20:13

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I’m a cat person who married a dog person.

sn4cktimes > Alfalfa 11/02/2016 at 20:16

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I’ve only ever had 2 cases of having to return an animals violence back on it. My friend had a large Bay Retriever when I was a kid and it was always kind of aggressive, barky, and mean. Said friend and I walked to school every day together and the dog always did it’s little aggressive show and dance. One day it bit the crap out of my hand. No blood, but really bad bruising. I told my friend just as a heads up and let it go. The next week the dog bit my calf and broke skin. I laid a few good punches to its face before it let go. Told my friend and her dad. Dog lived the rest of its life on a chain. Kinda sad. I was apparently the third kid it bit. The only other time was swatting a small terrier off that same friend (irony). It bit her ankle quite bad. Needed stitches. That dog was removed from the land of the living the next day by the town. Was on record for attacking people.

sn4cktimes > sn4cktimes 11/02/2016 at 20:17

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Worst thing is I LOVE animals. And they usually really like me too.

Alfalfa > Party-vi 11/02/2016 at 20:32

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We want to get one of those signs that says “dog can’t hold its licker”. Our doggo will maul every human it sees with love. He doesn’t really care much about other dogs.

Alfalfa > Bourbon&JellyBeans 11/02/2016 at 20:33

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That is exactly what it is.

DipodomysDeserti > RallyWrench 11/02/2016 at 20:57

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My parents had a Pom and it was actually pretty chill. It thought it was a big dog. She used to play rough with my pit rescue. It was hilarious watching a 60lb pit wrestle around with an 8 lb Pom. My pit was a momma dog and took it very easy on her.

DipodomysDeserti > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 11/02/2016 at 21:01

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Landlord: you can’t have pitbulls here

Renter: that’s not a dog, it is a cat

“I’m a cat”

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > DipodomysDeserti 11/02/2016 at 21:05

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We have a pit mix and we surprisingly haven’t had a problem with landlords. She is a big, big baby.

DipodomysDeserti > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 11/02/2016 at 21:11

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I have two pits. I got my oldest from a rescue when he was six months old and I was 19. I asked our landlord ahead of time about breed restrictions. She said there weren’t any, then told me I had to “return” my dog once I got him. I told her to screw off (not really) and showed her my renter’s insurance which covered pits (State Farm does in case you’re looking for a policy). Ten years later and he’s still a little baby.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/02/2016 at 21:47

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Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 21:51

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Wacko > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/02/2016 at 22:55

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Ha, My wife wanted a dog and knew i’m not a dog person so we got chickens instead of dogs. They leave us roundish brown things too.

Right now we get 2 eggs per day.

Alfalfa > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/03/2016 at 04:01

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“Boop.”

RPM esq. > jkm7680 11/04/2016 at 18:33

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Siberian Huskies are practically cats with worse breath and better pack habits. They clean themselves, kill and present small animals, scratch things up for fun, don’t particularly give a shit about people other than the few they bond with (and loyally follow around and protect), and go to great lengths to escape and wander. They’re fine with new people once properly introduced, just not all that interested. I love mine, and she’s a great dog especially now that she’s too old and mellow to climb or dig, but I’m frankly not sure I’d get another.

RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/04/2016 at 18:35

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Are the poodles good with other dogs? Every poodle I’ve ever met was reasonably obedient and fine with people but off-the-charts awful with all other dogs, and I’ve always wondered if the problem was with the breed or with the sort of people who choose to own poodles.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/21/2016 at 20:09

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“What a total piece of shit owner.”

You said it.